Here’s an attempt to help:

Take a week/month and do these 10 things (If there is another person/porn outside of the marriage take a week/month break from them. I know this is ‘of course’ and should be for all life)

1. Get a babysitter. Kids don’t need to pick a side.

2. Don’t say anything to each other for a day. Only write each other notes.

3. Go on a date. Dress up for it. Make it special.

4. Get each other a present for the date. Guys: get her jewelry/chocolate, Girls: get him cologne/wine etc.

5. Feed each other dessert. The more awkward the better.

6. Do something the other spouse likes: movie/ice skating etc.

7. Take a walk together somewhere. It has to be at least 1 mile.

8. Look each other in eyes for 10 min. Don’t talk. You can blink/not a staring contest.

9. After 10 min. pray for each other still looking in each other’s eyes. It has to be a positive prayer.

10. Tell each other 10 positive things about each other.

Do this every day/night with each other. Take off work. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 out loud together and take communion giving each other the elements.

After The Week (kids and work are back)

1. Write a note a day for 10 days saying a positive thing about each other.

2. Begin each day praying with and for each other.

3. Look each other in the eyes for 1 min. each day.

4. Embrace every day.

5. Read a chapter of 1 John together as a family each night.

After The Week After The Week (Testimony Time)

1. If problems persist begin communicating about them through notes. Write them from the other’s perspective.

2. Begin seeing problems as the enemy. Write down each one and make a plan to defend each other from them.

3. Look at your relationship as a castle. Write down/discuss weak points in the walls.

4. Write down 10 ways you would attack the other person if you were the enemy.

5. Write down allies/10 ways you can help defend them.

The question I have is, how will this moment’s disruption against humanity achieve for it eternity?

Is it just thrashing against its bonds and since we are time-based creatures, we are in its path?

Or are we doorways to eternity and by hijacking us it gets a taste?

By its deception, does it make us believe a moment lasts forever?

Does it consume a bit of our soul?

How does it get what it wants?

Only if we succumb to the bonds and become enslaved does it triumph. For us, singing a devout song of worship sets us free for we use time itself to praise the Timeless One.

We change the shackles of a moment to peer into His eternal presence, Oh Joy to the world indeed!

Patience when action is demanded.
Humor when rage bubbles over.
Love conquers more than pride.

There is no common sense of decency, or common sense in general, outside of community.

There once was a guy I knew who continually verbally abused his wife. Since we both worked at the same place I tried to help in any way I could to lighten his workload. I had hoped it would lessen his stress level and possibly improve things for his marriage. He was thankful, but then came the day when he began to say bad things about my wife since she also worked at the same place. I was angry and felt betrayed. Never has my wife done anything to deserve such treatment. And never would I, as a man, treat a woman in such a way. So I called him out on it and demanded that he apologize. What I had thought to be an open-and-shut case turned out to be grounds for war. Not only did he not apologize, he began to verbally attack and threaten me.

In my eyes, he showed himself to be a coward and a fool, but in his, he was somehow standing up for himself and his behavior. It quickly became apparent to me that he wanted to fight, and everything in me wanted to oblige him then and there, but something stopped me. The fact that I didn’t want to go to jail, and some small level of concern for the guy dominated over my temper. We argued for a bit then parted ways. After a while, I called to meet with him again to work the issue out. I asked God for guidance as the guy began to spread bad word about me to others at our workplace.

I tried to explain myself again to him, but again it failed to sink into his mind. To my knowledge, no one else stood up for his wife or against his treatment of women. I know I didn’t do things perfectly, but at least I tried. Still, years later, I wish I would have fought him back when I was healthy, but I still hope my attempt at mercy and grace showed him a better way.

I did find out he eventually got fired, though I’ve no knowledge if he ever learned to treat his wife any better.

I learned there is no common understanding between people by which we can hold each other accountable. Some are just mean no matter what. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Plus, I really have to be able to sleep.

Why am I writing this? People need to learn how to handle conflict better. There is a better way. I am not even close to perfect, but there is One who is. Look to Jesus. Leave your unfinished thoughts/desires unfinished. Jesus finished it all for us.

John 19:28-30

On one of my excursions to my woods, I found a feather. It was a beautiful feather and was rather huge. Filled with stripes, it had a quill that could easily have been made into a pen. At the time, I hadn’t seen that kind of feather before. I imagined it was a huge bird of prey like one of the Red-tailed Hawks that would circle high above calling out its kree. It filled me with mystery and excitement to think that maybe it had landed somewhere nearby.

I didn’t find any other sign of it that day, but I had a mission: keep my eyes peeled to the sky and on the ground for any clues. Occasionally I would find another feather, usually one a day or so. It was almost like whatever it was wanted to be found, so I searched. Then came the day when I picked up the last feather, I was done with clues, I was done with the mystery. I wanted to see this creature and holding aloft that final feather I confided to God I was going to find it that day.

It was weird because after I made that proclamation I found more feathers. I guessed or rather was lead somehow to a particular part of middle-aged and younger trees that had some space at their feet. At this point, or perhaps at the first description of the feather, I’m sure some of the hunters knew what it was. I had no clue, but I walked as quietly as I could. I felt the forest take on an eerie silence, the kind that happens before a cougar springs on its prey, so I froze. I stood still, but as my eyes slowly looked around me, the forest seemed to move. At first, I thought it was the trees like in a Tolkien book. Everything was still so quiet, and the movement wasn’t continual, more like it was taking steps and then it would stop. I didn’t breathe.

As I watched I saw movement again far ahead of me, my eyes strained to get a glimpse but I couldn’t make anything out. It still looked like trees moving, but only the trunks, and I heard a shuffle right behind me. I was so scared and so excited, and then like in the movie Harry and the Hendersons at the end when you finally see all the sasquatches, I saw them. Turkeys, dozens of them all around me. Some were only a few strides away, some were a few yards. It was like my stillness was a cue for them to resume searching the ground for food because they did as if I wasn’t even there. I stood still as a couple drew closer to me. They were close enough I could see their feathers, and sure enough, they matched the ones I had in my hand. It was beautiful. Finally, I had seen them and had the answers that I sought.

I couldn’t remain still any longer, so I began to move and walk toward the couple. They looked at me, turned, and started to walk away. I was surprised they were so calm. I was used to pheasants and deer freaking out at the first noise. So, of course, I pushed it a little and pursued them. They began to get faster, so I did too. Then it wasn’t just the ones in front of me that were moving, they all began to move and quickly. The silence was broken as the turkeys ran through the woods. Those running turkeys looked hilarious to me and I had some difficulty trying to keep up without tripping because of laughing. It seemed they knew where they were going because they all headed in the same direction. I followed too curious not to. Then I saw it, the open field. As soon as the turkeys broke free from the trees they were off in the craziest looking run/take off/flight I’d ever seen. Some tried taking off early and crashed through branches. I almost felt bad, but it was too much fun.

Thinking back on that experience, I can’t help but reflect on God and how He leads us sometimes with subtle hints. He likes to awaken our curiosity. Sometimes He even likes to lead us on wild turkey chases full of prophecy and revelation like during an in-depth Bible study. Though the Pope warns against curiosity, and with good reason, as an unhealthy direction and desire lead many not to find turkeys but lions seeking to devour them, I also find that God enjoys it when we are curious about Him. When our thoughts are so focused, distractions are powerless. When our eyes and ears strain to hear and see Him, everything else fades. When like those who searched for Jesus on the day of His birth, even the barrier of an obsessed king wasn’t enough to stop them.

“Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 37:4

Enjoy God everyone! Breathe in the adventure He is leading you on. God be with you as you follow Christ, His son. And may His Spirit guide you into all truth for only He satisfies.

Anyone can walk around naked for attention, and to turn the eye. Only the wise hold modesty as a virtue. They keep their treasures for the allotted time.