Category Archives: Walk with Jesus

When All That Is Left Is To Sign The Papers

Here’s an attempt to help:

Take a week/month and do these 10 things (If there is another person/porn outside of the marriage take a week/month break from them. I know this is ‘of course’ and should be for all life)

1. Get a babysitter. Kids don’t need to pick a side.

2. Don’t say anything to each other for a day. Only write each other notes.

3. Go on a date. Dress up for it. Make it special.

4. Get each other a present for the date. Guys: get her jewelry/chocolate, Girls: get him cologne/wine etc.

5. Feed each other dessert. The more awkward the better.

6. Do something the other spouse likes: movie/ice skating etc.

7. Take a walk together somewhere. It has to be at least 1 mile.

8. Look each other in eyes for 10 min. Don’t talk. You can blink/not a staring contest.

9. After 10 min. pray for each other still looking in each other’s eyes. It has to be a positive prayer.

10. Tell each other 10 positive things about each other.

Do this every day/night with each other. Take off work. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 out loud together and take communion giving each other the elements.

After The Week (kids and work are back)

1. Write a note a day for 10 days saying a positive thing about each other.

2. Begin each day praying with and for each other.

3. Look each other in the eyes for 1 min. each day.

4. Embrace every day.

5. Read a chapter of 1 John together as a family each night.

After The Week After The Week (Testimony Time)

1. If problems persist begin communicating about them through notes. Write them from the other’s perspective.

2. Begin seeing problems as the enemy. Write down each one and make a plan to defend each other from them.

3. Look at your relationship as a castle. Write down/discuss weak points in the walls.

4. Write down 10 ways you would attack the other person if you were the enemy.

5. Write down allies/10 ways you can help defend them.

Spiritfire, Proverbs 20:4 “Beans Or No Beans”

“Sluggards do not plow in season;
so at harvest time they look but find nothing.”

We live next to a bean field these days. This led perfectly into discovering the seed of wisdom the proverb contained and we prayed for God to plant it firmly and deeply into the gardens of our hearts, souls, and minds.

Sluggards are one of the 5 residents of the Imposter’s House- one of the 3 houses in the book of Proverbs. Other inhabitants of the Imposter’s House include: the violent man, the perverse man, the scoundrel, and the gossip, 16:27-29. These 5 give an enticing but false view of wisdom which proverbs like this one reveal to the discerning.

Sluggard’s don’t want to work, they won’t even bring their hands from the bowl to their mouth, 19:24. We talked about the field next door and the timing involved; the plants are almost 3 feet tall. If the farmer decided to sleep instead of to plow would there even be a harvest? He would look and find nothing. The poor sluggard, always causing his own problems, but always expecting none.

Then we looked for Jesus, Wisdom’s fulfiller, in this proverb and found He talked about it in Mark 4, the parable of the sower. We decided the sluggard was most like the stony ground. The proverb didn’t say the sluggard doesn’t plow, just that he doesn’t in season. His inactivity left him without a harvest; like the plants of the rocky soil, it all withered and died.

We then began to talk about a mystery of God: The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few, Luke 10:2. Would a sluggard even see the harvest when he looks out over the field? Does God hide it from him, and if so, why?

Spiritfire: Something to Yell About!

It all started with watching kids shout about Karate during a training session. The sensei would give the kids empowering phrases to scream before he began the day’s lesson, and they would respond by shouting it back to him at the top of their lungs.

This gave me an idea for our Spiritfire times. I saw how much they enjoyed screaming about martial arts, though my kids didn’t really enjoy the actual lessons, so I wanted to give them something to yell at the beginning of our devo-times that actually gave them real power.

I had them back up as far as they could and then run to the middle of the room and jump up real high stomping their feet as they landed. After they did this, I had them shout: “I am a child of God! (They would make a fist and pound their chest) He loves me! (They’d point to heaven), so I love me! (They’d point to themselves)”

Our Spiritfire times have never been the same.

Spiritfire, Proverbs 20:1 A Better Brawler

“Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler;
whoever is led astray by them is not wise.”

As soon as we opened the door on this one, we knew it was talking about another bad seed like 19:24, 28 and so many more. We were immediately given a window view into Folly’s house and we witnessed the lot of those who succumb to the drink. Abused wives, beaten kids, lost jobs, lost souls, our hearts were heavy as Betsy and I explained this Proverb to our kids.

Substance abuse has overtaken so many. The overdose of various drugs takes the lives of the users and destroys their families. “Led astray” is too gentle a way of putting it.

We couldn’t focus on the darkness for long and began looking for Jesus. Over the years I have had the honor of leading worship for different groups like Celebrate Recovery, drug rehabilitation centers, and prison ministries. In much the same way as this Proverb revealed the darkness, each opportunity to praise Jesus revealed His Light.

I learned people become dependent on whatever substance they are addicted to. What do they receive from such a reliance? Pain, misery, and darkness. I have heard everyone’s addicted to something. Changing one’s addiction from drugs to Jesus is like changing from darkness to Light. What do they receive from such a reliance?

You tell me.

I’ve heard stories of families restored, lives healed, and hope returned as the Holy Spirit moves. Turns out the Love of Jesus is a better brawler than beer, and His blood is better than wine.

Spiritfire: Proverbs 19:27, “Mirror, mirror on the wall”

“Stop listening to instruction, my son,
and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”

As we looked at this proverb to explore the wisdom it taught, we were surprised to see a mirror reflection of proverb 19:20. Much like the multiples of 9, you see the reflection as you pass from 45 to 54, the following numbers follow the pattern. And like that pattern, the two proverbs mirror each other in form and meaning. If you stop listening, not only will you not be “counted among the wise”, you will be counted among a different group, the fools. You will stray and be lost to the discernment from the advice you could have gained. This “Core” proverb revealed the price of disobedience by looking at the other side of the apple, the dark side of the moon.

We then looked again for how Jesus fulfilled this proverb. He is the Word, John 1, there is no greater knowledge than knowing Him. He is Way, John 14:6, and as we follow Him, we will not stray. And just as Jesus submitted to the Father and became the “source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him”, Hebrews 5:9, if He didn’t, then there would be no salvation and we would all be lost doomed to stray in the darkness for He is the Light of the world, John 8:12.

My kids met a man the other day who questioned them about Jesus. He asked, “Why don’t you believe in a god that has a cooler name?” As my kids see first hand how Jesus fulfilled all wisdom, was the new Adam that opened the way for us to be new creations and provided salvation for all who obey Him, they truly understood Acts 4:12. For when it comes to names:

“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”

Spiritfire: Proverbs 19:26, Wild Loving

“Whoever robs their father and drives out their mother
is a child who brings shame and disgrace.”

When we opened this treasure chest we were immediately confronted with a seed that would grow to become a poisonous vine whose fruit destroys families. Luke 15:11–32, is the fullest example and explanation of this Proverb. In those verses, Jesus told us of a son who did exactly what the proverb foretold. He took his inheritance and spent it on ‘wild living’ bringing shame and disgrace on his father who in turn took the opportunity to give his son something worth much more than a material inheritance. As has already been said, his material inheritance was spent on ‘wild living’, but this other kind of inheritance from his father was of a spiritual nature- love and forgiveness. It couldn’t be spent in such a way on such things.

We then began to see Jesus, the Son and “heir of all things” Hebrews 1:2, who took the riches of God and lavished them on us, Ephesians 1:7-10. This proverb, as fulfilled by Jesus, exposed the building blocks of the Kingdom of God. In so doing, Jesus didn’t bring shame and disgrace but was “the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being”, Hebrews 1:3.

Jesus fulfilled this proverb and his own parable not by ‘wild living’, but by wild loving.

Spiritfire: Proverbs 19:20, “The Core”

“Listen to advice and accept discipline,
and at the end you will be counted among the wise.”

During Spiritfire, our family devotion time with God, we have been creating names for the different proverbs to help us classify the type of wisdom within them. I know I’ve already shared some: “Coin” proverbs, “This and More” proverbs, “If-Then”, etc. Even though some proverbs defy it, we’ve found that by placing them in their correct classification it can help us to better learn from them. Proverbs 19:20, for my family, has been placed among the “Core” proverbs. These proverbs tap directly into the theme of wisdom and knowledge taught from chapter 1:1-7.

One of the rules I have given my kids when eating apples is, “You’re not finished with your apple till I can see the core.” This rule has needed refinement over the years due to the creative ways my kids will eat one spot to the core leaving the rest of the apple untouched, but they understood the point. The “Apple-core Rule” has become a template for the type of kids I want them to become. You will learn the accurate meaning/character of something/someone when you get to the core.

Proverbs 19:20, along with others like 19:11, reveal keys for attaining the vast treasures of the fear of the Lord. By listening to advice, we shortcut the pain of learning by experience alone. By accepting discipline and living in obedience to it, we learn discernment and humility as we often need to be taught the difference between right and wrong. The result of these dual crucibles is the whole point of why Proverbs was written: to be “counted among the wise”.

Hebrews 5:8-10 reveals how this proverb was fulfilled through Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, achieving for Him perfection so that He became, “the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him”. This “Core” proverb revealed the very heart of God.

Thoughts on the Temporary Reign of a Moment

The question I have is, how will this moment’s disruption against humanity achieve for it eternity?

Is it just thrashing against its bonds and since we are time-based creatures, we are in its path?

Or are we doorways to eternity and by hijacking us it gets a taste?

By its deception, does it make us believe a moment lasts forever?

Does it consume a bit of our soul?

How does it get what it wants?

Only if we succumb to the bonds and become enslaved does it triumph. For us, singing a devout song of worship sets us free for we use time itself to praise the Timeless One.

We change the shackles of a moment to peer into His eternal presence, Oh Joy to the world indeed!

Jesus Finished It

Patience when action is demanded.
Humor when rage bubbles over.
Love conquers more than pride.

There is no common sense of decency, or common sense in general, outside of community.

There once was a guy I knew who continually verbally abused his wife. Since we both worked at the same place I tried to help in any way I could to lighten his workload. I had hoped it would lessen his stress level and possibly improve things for his marriage. He was thankful, but then came the day when he began to say bad things about my wife since she also worked at the same place. I was angry and felt betrayed. Never has my wife done anything to deserve such treatment. And never would I, as a man, treat a woman in such a way. So I called him out on it and demanded that he apologize. What I had thought to be an open-and-shut case turned out to be grounds for war. Not only did he not apologize, he began to verbally attack and threaten me.

In my eyes, he showed himself to be a coward and a fool, but in his, he was somehow standing up for himself and his behavior. It quickly became apparent to me that he wanted to fight, and everything in me wanted to oblige him then and there, but something stopped me. The fact that I didn’t want to go to jail, and some small level of concern for the guy dominated over my temper. We argued for a bit then parted ways. After a while, I called to meet with him again to work the issue out. I asked God for guidance as the guy began to spread bad word about me to others at our workplace.

I tried to explain myself again to him, but again it failed to sink into his mind. To my knowledge, no one else stood up for his wife or against his treatment of women. I know I didn’t do things perfectly, but at least I tried. Still, years later, I wish I would have fought him back when I was healthy, but I still hope my attempt at mercy and grace showed him a better way.

I did find out he eventually got fired, though I’ve no knowledge if he ever learned to treat his wife any better.

I learned there is no common understanding between people by which we can hold each other accountable. Some are just mean no matter what. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Plus, I really have to be able to sleep.

Why am I writing this? People need to learn how to handle conflict better. There is a better way. I am not even close to perfect, but there is One who is. Look to Jesus. Leave your unfinished thoughts/desires unfinished. Jesus finished it all for us.

John 19:28-30