There is only one safe place. Only one. It is in the arms of Jesus. In His arms all malevolent voices are stilled, all fears relieved, all powers dethroned, all prison doors opened. To know Jesus is to know peace. There is only one safe place. Only One.

For those who have fallen victim to someone’s shortsightedness, selfishness, pride and arrogance, don’t abandon the One who suffered for our deliverance from such places. Jesus brings life, He gives hope, He is truth. Don’t let people get in your way to all that He has in store for you.

My wife and I were traveling late one moonless night. We were far away from any lights or civilization. The road we were on was totally empty of any other traffic. It was dark. The kind of dark that almost devours light making a car’s headlights seem dim. We were traveling slowly because of the low visibility when suddenly a shape and a face flashed before us.

A friend of mine was in the hospital facing a grim diagnosis. Though it was something she could have fought, her mind was so clouded with conspiracies she didn’t have any ground to stand on. I visited her on one of her dark days. She was striking out against the doctors and even against her husband for she thought they were all trying to kill her. With eyes wide, she was pleading for anyone to take her side.

In the mountains of Tennessee, I climbed down into a dark crevice that opened up in the side of a 300 foot drop off. There were no guard rails, no stairs, and the bottom of the crevice angled toward the drop. A woman came down behind me and within moments froze. Her arms and legs locked which lifted her off of the safe seating she had. Her breathing became panicked with short gasps and unintelligible words came from her mouth.

We pulled off the road to figure out what just happened. I knew I didn’t hit anything but with the form and face came a cry. I stepped out of the car telling my wife to lock the doors and get into the driver’s seat. I walked back to find that the shape turned out to be an African lady who had been trapped on that road with a flat tire for who knows how long. She was beyond reasoning so I told her I was going to get my wife to help her.

I tried to reason with my friend, telling her that God is with her. And we have confidence in His goodwill toward us. That her disease was nothing compared to His power. I tried to slowly give her ground that was more solid than the shadowy conspiracies filling her mind.

I pulled myself back up to the woman behind me and stood in front of her face blocking any view of the opening and the drop and told her to breathe.

My wife gave her a hug while I put on the spare. She told her what I was doing and what the plan was which slowly calmed her down. My wife gained a little bit of her trust, but not enough to exchange phone numbers. As soon as the spare was on, she was off without even a goodbye.

I saw a break in the wave of hysteria when I began to talk to her about Jesus. I didn’t ask any questions, I didn’t want to hear her speak. I saw in her eyes a glimmer of determination. It was enough.

The woman began to breathe more normally and she sat back down for a moment before I guided her to turn around and head back out.

Each of these moments revealed to me the truth of how love drives out fear. Love got the lady with the flat moving again. Love dispelled the shadows attacking my friend. Love turned the woman around who was facing the drop. We are loved in the most perfect way through Jesus. 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love.” And we are always in His love.

These days, our society seems saturated with fear. Laws are written because of it, airports have to sift through it, even our cars are being made with the technology to fight against it. It is in these days that Christians stand out, and it’s not because of hate that they do. It is because of love and the lack of fear that dominates everyone else’s lives.

Walk in the power that is yours followers of Jesus. Fear is the ocean. Let us show this world who is the Lord as we follow Him on top of the waves.

-Brian Carter

The school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary changed my prayer life. Back then, the road I drove to and from work was loaded with schools. I prayed for each one of them and thought of all the children, what kind of homes they come from, if they’ve ever been shown kindness let alone love. If they knew Jesus. What kind of futures the Lord has in store for them.

My prayers changed focus daily, sometimes I’d pray for the innocent ones, other times I’d pray for the ones considering murder and suicide. But then, as I got into it more on a daily routine, I began to feel the Spirit direct me to pray solely for the Christians that attend the schools. Their presence carrying His, their witness dispelling darkness. Then I began to pray that the schools would be blessed and would have the best year in their history because of the Christians. That it would be seen how the Lord blesses those places because His followers are there. That even those who target Christianity and try to shut the school doors on Jesus would find that they would rather He be in the schools than locked out.

Honestly, I’d get rather passionate in my prayers and every time I thought of those kids taken so cruelly and so tragically early, my prayers got fierce. I began to envision the plans of the Lord overwhelming those of the enemy. Light flooding the schools so much that all forms of evil had to leave.

Then by the next year, I had moved. The schools may or may not have had their best year, but I knew a new door had been opened in my
heart. “Do not hinder them,” Jesus said.

When I would pick up my kids from preschool, I made it a point to know as many names as I could, give high 5’s, and ask how each were doing. That was not me before.

Love is too important to keep quiet. Love is too vital to life, our kids need to know it. It is THE way to not hinder them. The enemy wants to take their lives no matter how he can whether before they’re born or after, and I wanted to do what I could to show that Love wins.

If the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these, then they are royalty, all of them.

God bless our children.

-Brian Carter

On top of my hill where I grew up, huge houses were being built. The land I hiked through was being sold off piece by piece. Today, it’s pretty much all gone with the only remnants of the forest I grew up in are tucked away in plush backyards. But back then, when the builders were just getting started, there were finished roads that lead to dead ends with lamps that lit everything up at night. It was eerie and beautiful in a classy ghost town sort of way. I claimed the main entrance as my meeting place with God. I would go up there and pray and play. I was a kid and everything was an adventure especially with God. Every car that came by was some kind of sentry bent on capturing me, so I would hide in the nearby pine trees until they passed. Every night was so exciting, I loved it.

One night when I was talking with God I noticed the cracks in the pavement. I told Him that I knew that there are many paths in this life like the many cracks with branches that lead in all directions. I followed them as I prayed confessing in my spirit and by my mouth that I didn’t want to stray from His paths. I knew that only He was the Way the Truth and the Life. I would do my best to hold true as I followed the crack that lead to the nearest lamppost. It was then that I heard His response.

Light and Darkness has always held a lot of wonder for me. I liked to think about them because it was easy to slip into the mysteries. I would dive into seeing them as the manifestations of good and evil, recognizing their character in their properties, and then stepping to the side and seeing them as mere companions in this life both holding true to their functions as tools for our experience. But this night, He wanted to show me something more that has forever changed my eyes.

When following the cracks to the Light, I noticed darkness following me. In my heart that night with my desire to be true to what He has shown me, I saw the darkness as a remnant of the Fall. My face to the lamppost, I knew the darkness to be my shadow, my fallen nature. My shadow, always following me, reminding me of my inability to rid myself of my sinfulness.

It was then that He stopped me, I turned around and saw that when I was distant from the light, it was hard to see the details of my shadow. It blended into the surrounding darkness, the world, and its ways. In that distance, my shadow was barely noticeable. I didn’t stand out. It was almost comforting, but for the burning within my chest to turn around and run to the lamp. Mystery 1 revealed.

When I did, and I came closer to that revealing light, the Spirit whispered to me again to turn and look. I did and saw that my shadow was much more distinct, my shame that much more visible. O how I felt the fear-filled desire to turn back to the darkness and hide. I almost did, but then He drew me closer. I’d be lying if I denied the pain that every step brought to my heart. My shadow became blacker and blacker, thick, almost tangible. Then finally I stood at the base of the lamppost. Mystery 2 revealed.

This was it, the closest I could come to the light of His presence. Forever excluded because of the shadow that I couldn’t escape from. I was left with this black hole at my feet, the light just above me, and out of reach. It was useless, hopelessness began to creep in. I pleaded with God that it wasn’t my fault, science says that my physical mass is blocking the light’s rays, that my shadow is only there because of my existence. So really it was a good thing… He wouldn’t let me step to the side just yet. He began to remind me of the Scriptures that say we who believe in Christ are called Children of Light (Ephesians 5). Because of our faith, we are the “light of the world” (Matthew 5:14). I then began to see that the only way to be rid of my shadow is to lose my physical body, my old self (Ephesians 4) and become the Light by clothing myself with Him. Mystery 3 revealed.

With this revelation in my mind, I began to leap around with joy. I began to talk to my shadow, telling it that its grip on my life was gone. Though I may still have a shadow to this day, in the mysteries, Jesus made a way for me to be free and draw near to God in a way impossible to man. Free of darkness, free of the taint of the Fall, free from that which so easily entangles (Hebrews 12:1).

Oddly enough, after that night, the cracks no longer mattered. My previous world of following as best I could didn’t hold me anymore; that was what shadows do. It became only about being in the Light, being the Light and helping others who are lost. Because frankly, no matter what people say, no one can see out there, out there in the darkness.

-Brian Carter

I’d never been here before. I had only ever seen healers portrayed on TV and the movies as charlatans using Jesus to get to your money. So when some friends suggested I go to a healing service hosted by Pastor Billy Burke, I was a little hesitant.

When I got there I was introduced to so many new things, the Gospel Hymns in all their glory, names I’ve never heard like Kathryn Kuhlman, Billy Burke himself in his white suit and glowing blond hair. It was a bit much for me honestly. There were so many people in the sanctuary all waiting, all expecting something to happen.

I didn’t know what was going on, all I knew was my body was shutting down and I needed healed. I didn’t know how it was to happen, what I was supposed to do or say. I don’t even remember some of the stuff I witnessed which was pretty wild. But I do remember hope.

Billy Burke shared his own story of being a child with only weeks to live because of the final stages of brain cancer. Kathryn Kuhlman called him down to the platform and after asking him if he wanted to be healed, she touched him. Power went out and the cancer was gone, instantly.

After he told that story and a few more of healings he had been a part of, he began to call out diseases people were being healed of.

If I was to go into detail on any point of this story, it would be a novel so I’m condensing it for the purpose of this site. Suffice it to say, something was going on that I had never seen or heard of before. People walked up, got healed, jumped up and down and praised God, and then sat back down, believe it or not. Well, I wanted in. I was told only come forward if Pastor Billy called out what you were suffering from. He had mentioned the disease my body has been fighting toward the beginning of the service and that was good enough for me. So after I summoned up the courage I walked down to the front.

One of the guards stopped me and asked why I had come. I told him of my condition, he radioed the other guards to see if Pastor Billy had called it out. The guard shook his head at me and told me to sit. I took a seat at the front. I don’t know how this stuff works, but I wasn’t about to let this pass without giving it a shot. I wasn’t going to leave, so I sat and waited.

After numerous other healings, some of which he didn’t call out, but people got through, he finally said to lower the ropes and let people come forward. It all felt really weird. Some people were saying that they were healed just by being in the service, they didn’t need Billy to lay his hands on them. Others said that if you stand next to him, the glory and power of the presence of God will overwhelm you. So I tried both.

At first, I started to feel excited, then as people gathered around and got closer and closer, and as Billy started walking around grabbing the closest to him shouting praises to God, I started to feel panicked. At the rate things were going there was no way he would reach me. There were too many people. I started to make my way to the front, but it was getting beyond being civil. If I wanted to get up front I was going to have to start pushing people out of my way. I wasn’t walking very well so I did my best.

Just then, a lady pushed up next to me and reached out her hand toward Billy who was actually really close. I reached out mine too and he passed by. I lowered mine just as he turned back and grabbed the lady’s hands. She fell back, slain by the Spirit, they call it. When I looked up, Billy had moved on down the row. I was having too much difficulty in my body and mind trying to reconcile this mad stampede feeling with why God would enjoy watching me throttle people so I could get my healing. Finally I headed back out to my seat. I resolved to be one who gets healed by being at the service not needing to be touched.

The service went on for probably another hour and a half. Pastor Billy walked back and forth touching as many people as he could calling out healings, people were falling back on the floor frozen. Some would shake as the power flowed through them. After the service, I sat praying and hoping that tonight was my night. As I prayed, the lady came up that stood next to me in the crowd.

“Did you get what you came for?” she asked excitedly.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

“The Lord told me to go stand next to you so I would get touched,” her words hit me hard.

After she said this, she said some words of blessing and left. My thoughts went 4 different directions at once and I felt like I was being drawn and quartered. But before any of them had a chance to run off with a limb, one thought came forward that held me together. If the Lord told her to stand next to me so she could get her healing/touch, amen I’m glad I could help, then that means the Lord, Creator of the universe knew right where I was and He knew what I was there for. He wasn’t ignoring me or forgetting me, He was watching me and still using me. It blew my mind, and even though almost 3 years later I’m still expecting my healing, that experience gives me peace to know as Hagar knew in Genesis 16:13, El Ro’i watches over me.

If you feel forgotten, on the outside watching all those who receive God’s blessings, know that God knows right where you are. He always has plans for His children. Don’t forget Joseph who suffered so much. I’m sure he felt forgotten, especially after the Cupbearer left him. Then at the appropriate time, Joseph was raised up to 2nd in charge of all Egypt. Rapid acceleration, healing, and equipping happen when we rest in the hands of our Father.

El Ro’i watches over us all.

-Brian Carter

Another story from back in the day- In the forest near where I grew up, I got to witness many of the transitions that come with the changing of the seasons. One of which has stayed with me for many years… in the back of my mind. I didn’t even know this until a couple years ago when I witnessed it again.

Mayapples grew up in little colonies throughout my forest. Like little crowds of green umbrellas, they’d grow and open up. Sometimes I’d pretend I was a really small person and climb under them… I still think about that. One day I looked down to notice that one had unknowingly grown up through the hole of a dead leaf, talk about the odds. Every time I came back I revisited it and stared at it in wonder. I’d find it among all the other Mayapples that got to grow freely to their normal glory in height and strength. This one Mayapple looked like an umbrella trying to open but with the belt still tightly fastened around it. Trapped it was in the carcass of something that got to experience its own glory in seasons past.

How? Perhaps it was chance but that wasn’t how I thought of it. As I wondered, I would think of people who suffer from the decisions of others who either have died or at least who are long gone from their life. The lasting effects of a manifestation of the Fall that strangle and force limitations on an unsuspecting victim.

One would think that since I took the plight of this plant a bit personally that I would have done something about it, but I didn’t. That didn’t even enter my mind. I thought that the best thing was to let it break free by its own power. That as it would grow, the bonds of the leaf would naturally fall apart.

Years later, over a decade actually, I found another trapped Mayapple. It may have been because by this time I had gone through many trials that have left their marks, it may have been because by this time I had kids of my own that I want to see grow up to their full potential, or it may have been that I just realized doing stuff on your own power isn’t strength, it’s weakness, I walked up to that Mayapple and stepped into new territory. I ripped apart the leaf bonds and set it free.

It was a plant, a Mayapple whose lifetime doesn’t even make it to the end of the season. But for some reason, freeing that one plant felt like I was freeing myself. Who knows, but acts that resemble the Kingdom, no matter how small, work against and counteract the Fall. You know things matter when it causes you to look at people and life differently. When we step out of our understood paradigm ruled by fear and logic that is dead-locked with fate, and we step out of the boat to realize with Him nothing is as it should be, it is then that power is unleashed. Power to bring freedom, to move mountains, to not be a victim, to overcome not just be protected.

Perhaps you know of a Mayapple that is stuck in a Leaf. Someone in your life who is caught and isn’t strong enough to free themselves. Maybe you are there to help rip the Leaf apart.

-Brian Carter

Right outside the forest where I grew up, there was a meadow. One time when I was hiking through it, I witnessed a group of small birds flying around like a dark swarming cloud. I’ve always marveled at the precision of such birds, like schools of small fish, I’ve never seen them run into each other. Imagining myself as one of them, it wouldn’t take me long to ruin their dance.

I watched them swirl, dive, swoop, and climb through the air. I was mesmerized, caught up in their hypnotic twirl. Then I noticed that they would land as a group after a certain cadence. And the places they would land were all in a row. I don’t even remember how long I studied them, but after a while I decided to move in. Their time between landings was almost exact, and every time they took off, I crept closer. Finally I was as close as I thought I could get, and with one more lift off I quickly ran to the spot I judged would be their next landing site.

The next bit happened so fast I screamed in excitement, laughed in joy, and then ducked in fear all at once. For as I watched, in their perfect timing, the cloud came right at me. I swear they were caught up in their own spell, for it didn’t seem like they saw me until the last moment. The dark cloud engulfed me- the scream. The perfect harmony of their movement hardly missed a step. They changed direction all around me. I heard the flap of wings and felt the wind blow through my hair- the laughter. Then scenes of when I’ve scared Canadian Geese to flight and they’d drop off any cargo that would weigh them down, quickly passed through my mind- the fear.

In the blink of an eye it was over. The cloud resumed their dance, swarming through the sky. In a few seconds after my disturbance they landed in turn at a spot just the right distance away. I just stood there for a while watching them continue.

I’ve held onto that experience through the years because it showed me the immanence of intimacy. Study all you want, seek your knowledge, but don’t be fooled- learning about the stuff of life can never replace living it.

-Brian Carter

December 8, 2012, I went with my wife and kids and our dogs to a park to hike around. It snowed a little that day, enough to frost the grass with a nice powdered sugar coating.

Before we began I prayed out loud inviting God to come play with us. I didn’t really know what I even meant by that, let alone even trying to think what its like to play with God. I mean, what does God do for fun? Raise the dead? Create more stars?

Well that day we hiked out a little farther than I was even planning and sat together under a tree the kids and I have climbed before. The puppies started exploring the nearby ponds and the kids sat with Betsy and I as we just looked around at our beautiful surroundings.

Then suddenly it began to snow quite heavily with huge snowflakes. None of us had any real snow gear on so we started heading back. But on the way up a small hill I looked down and noticed the snow gathered pretty easily on my boot, so I quickly gathered some and threw it at my family. I wasn’t even close, but it inspired my sons to join in and my wife and daughter were easy targets for them. I then got down on my knees and started rolling a snowball around just to make it a little bigger but to my surprise it got bigger and bigger. I didn’t know there was enough snow to make a snow man, but I kept at it and soon I had a bona fide base. When the kids saw that, it was on. They all wanted me to make them a snow man.

We played in the snow for a long time, my knees were numb but it didn’t matter. Finally exhausted cold and wet we headed back and noticed the snow had stopped. By the time we got to our car it was virtually all gone, even the powered sugar coating. I then realized how God plays with His kids.

-Brian Carter