Leave it to the book of Proverbs to tell it like it is.  For my kids, we again spent some time talking about the benefits of marrying wisely as we did for 21:9.  Defining terms while role-playing them was fun, but as my kids say to us that they need our help to choose wisely whom they will marry, the dead-end of this proverb was revealed.  Proverbs, at times like this verse and just recently in 21:16, offer little to no hope.  If you did marry ‘her’ because of her looks, or ‘him’ because of his charm, only to find they were coverings for their ‘quarrelsome and ill-tempered’ hearts, then sorry, but you are stuck.  And yes, though this is true for many who have made that mistake, when we looked at how Jesus fulfilled this verse, we saw an opening.

 

In the book of John, chapter 4, we find Jesus asking a Samaritan woman for a drink.  She was a Samaritan and He was a Jew.  Samaritans and Jews did not get along.  She was drawing water in the heat of the day at a time when most people were inside.  She had a checkered past, which most people do who try to avoid others.  Jesus revealed she has had 5 husbands and the guy she’s living with now wasn’t even her husband. With a few words,  Jesus simply walked over many cultural roadblocks and issues.  Suffice to say, if such things were to be adhered to, Jesus should not have been talking with her.

 

Other than some spite that we can read into her comments to Jesus, v. 9-25, we do not read of her having a quarrelsome or ill-tempered heart, but it’s not hard to imagine her having one on a bad day.  However, her checkered past put her in a similar boat to avoid.  Jesus did not avoid her but was in fact there for her, and He did not leave her as the proverb did with no hope for change.  He opened the door for her to have Living Water which led her to become a new creation who sought the people she was trying to avoid to tell them about her talk with Jesus, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” v. 29.

 

So, from my children to yours, yes, marrying wisely will be a jewel in their crown for generations to come, but even then life and unforeseen circumstances can change things.  It is of little value or consequence to do things out of fear when even the best-laid plans come to naught.  The closed-door of our heats is not closed to Him.  The rocky seas of cultural disputes and our checkered pasts are merely a walkway for Jesus.