1. Getting slapped doesn’t hurt.

2. Protects face from sunburn.

3. You no like, shave.

4. People think you’re a biker or a viking, either way they leave you alone.

5. Instant fellowship with other beard growers – like Chaco people have with other Chaco people or motorcyclists.

6. Braiding it makes you look like a pirate.

7. Keeps you warm in the winter.

8. Traps water during summer.

9. No zits.

10. It pretty much gives you special powers.