Here’s an attempt to help:

Take a week/month and do these 10 things (If there is another person/porn outside of the marriage take a week/month break from them. I know this is ‘of course’ and should be for all life)

1. Get a babysitter. Kids don’t need to pick a side.

2. Don’t say anything to each other for a day. Only write each other notes.

3. Go on a date. Dress up for it. Make it special.

4. Get each other a present for the date. Guys: get her jewelry/chocolate, Girls: get him cologne/wine etc.

5. Feed each other dessert. The more awkward the better.

6. Do something the other spouse likes: movie/ice skating etc.

7. Take a walk together somewhere. It has to be at least 1 mile.

8. Look each other in eyes for 10 min. Don’t talk. You can blink/not a staring contest.

9. After 10 min. pray for each other still looking in each other’s eyes. It has to be a positive prayer.

10. Tell each other 10 positive things about each other.

Do this every day/night with each other. Take off work. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 out loud together and take communion giving each other the elements.

After The Week (kids and work are back)

1. Write a note a day for 10 days saying a positive thing about each other.

2. Begin each day praying with and for each other.

3. Look each other in the eyes for 1 min. each day.

4. Embrace every day.

5. Read a chapter of 1 John together as a family each night.

After The Week After The Week (Testimony Time)

1. If problems persist begin communicating about them through notes. Write them from the other’s perspective.

2. Begin seeing problems as the enemy. Write down each one and make a plan to defend each other from them.

3. Look at your relationship as a castle. Write down/discuss weak points in the walls.

4. Write down 10 ways you would attack the other person if you were the enemy.

5. Write down allies/10 ways you can help defend them.